When I left my home town of Melbourne and headed for NSW to move in with my then boyfriend and best friend Daniel, I didn't care about anything I left behind. It was about me and what I wanted to do, so I did it. I didn't think that anyone would miss me or care that I was gone. In my eyes there was no need for a farewell party with friends as I didn't have many and I still don't.
I found out last night that my dear friend Samantha passed away at the age of 28, two years younger than myself. We had known each other since forever, early high school days but we were re-united a few years ago and our friendship had flourished since then.
Everything changed after that sad and long moment when I learnt of her sudden passing. The reality is still sinking in now and it hurts tremendously, even though I can talk about Samantha's positives I still can’t stop crying.
Her sudden passing has made me change my mind on a lot of things and mostly I've changed my way of thinking and how I will deal with people I love and cherish from this day forth.
People and friends do care, it’s not about them saying it sometimes it more about them making time and being with you when they can. Even if it’s on the phone or through a face book message, communication in all forms counts.
We all have a lot going on day to day such as families, jobs and interests that make up our existence called life. It can be a lonely and confusing journey sometimes whether we admit this fact or not and it’s our family and friends that help us carry on, move forward, grow and look for positives.
This blog is not about me, it’s about realization, making the most of your current situation, being honest to yourself and others, and most importantly living every day as if it was your last.
By that last statement I don't mean going out and getting wasted every night and blowing all your savings on material objects, I mean; do that thing you have always wanted to do (no matter how crazy you look in someone else’s eyes), call a friend and tell them you miss them, be patient with people and accept their ideas and views, take that trip you have always to take.
I know Sam would have agreed with me on these points and although I miss her immensely I know I have fond memories of her and the times we shared both good and bad (mostly good!)
Sam would always have a colossal smile on her face when she saw you, a friendly greeting, a funny accent to yell at you in, a stupid comment to blurt out and most importantly a big heart to share with all that met her for the first time or those who knew for a lifetime.
While I continue to reflect today I remember a conversation I had over the phone last night with a mutual friend both Samantha and I shared, Rosemarie. Reminiscing on the fun times we had with Sam she had reminded me of the time (which was just before I moved states) that we went out on a Saturday night with another female friend to a comedy night and then Karaoke afterwards. Rose giggled as she talked about Sam's crazy antics that night and I followed with another memory.
So I did have a girly farewell with a group of friends that I cherish after all, I must have gotten too bitter and cynical to remember the good times. Or maybe I can blame it on life but either way, no matter what excuse I make I’ll be sure not to take another amazing moment with a loved one for granted. Ever.
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