In the movies

In the movies, the romantic comedies to be exact the single women is protrayed to be somewhat unsure of what she wants from a guy, desperately seeking one and mostly awkward when around one. That is unless you watch Sex in the City. Those women although they sometimes get into weird situations , they mostly have the power, are successful individuals and are enjoying living in the city. Then again, they are not all single.

What I am getting at with this is that I am single and living right in the heart of the excitement, on my own and in my own place. This is my second night in Paddington and the only excitement I have had is happening right now as Eminem is playing at the sports stadiuem down the road. I guess that if I actually get out of my studio room I would actually discover a whole new world.

I have been living in Sydney for a year now and I don't feel that I have actually lived as I have been in the suburbs with families for neighbours but I must say I am missing the mornings at the beach, running on the sand followed by a swim afterwards.  I also miss my clean bathroom and my huge kitchen space, mostly my oven!

Living here now, I will be meeting more people and the right kind of people and I hope that I don't become one of those girls I mentioned from the romantic comedies. What am I saying, it is too late as I do get all stupid just like that chick in the movie "He is just not that into you". I swear that that charcter reacts the same way as I do when I'm seeing a guy, howver that is another blog post entirly.We can't follow those American films anyhow, right? If we did we would belive that teenagers went to school in minis and heels like the girls in Mean Girls. What a load of bull.

Anyway, all I know is that once I get off my behind and unpack everything and find every little item a home I will be settled and ready to discover my new surroundings. This change I know will influence the desicion I make of wheater I stay on in Sydney a little longer or if I leave after returning from my trip from Byron Bay. I am waiting to see if my feeling towards Sydney will change.

Today I went back to the old place to collect more of my things and I collapsed on the floor from being so overwhelmed by the stress of everything (mostly my mind numbing jobs which have been holding me back socially due to the hours and days I work) that I had one of those "I should have just went home" moments again which I have been having on a weekly basis lately since my life has been collapsing around me like smashed lego.

I called my mum in a hysterical fit and ranted on about what I would do on my arrival back to Melbourne. When I thought about it I really didn't know what I would do on my arrival. Where will I work, who will I be?

Not to worry, for now I just have to get by best I can, try and find new jobs so that I can live that Sex In The City lifestyle portrayed on the screen. Doubt it, like I said before, its all a load of bullshit. I do however want to enjoy my time in Sydney so that I don't look back at these times with bitter memories, not that I have bitter memories of Dan, just everything else like work and the opportunities I have missed due to working weekends and late nights during the week.

How I am going to do this will all make sense when my head is clear and more then anything I am just hoping that everything will fall into place and I will have my happy ending, just like in the movies.